The Little Mermaid
Halle Bailey as Ariel and Flounder voiced by Jacob Tremblay in The Little Mermaid.
Disney has a bad habit of remaking things. This trend of relatively direct remakes, in my eyes at least, started with Branagh’s Cinderella in 2015, followed by The Jungle Book, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo, Aladdin, The Lion King, Lady and the Tramp, Mulan, Pinocchio, Peter Pan & Wendy and now The Little Mermaid.
If there’s a beloved childhood classic of yours from the bygone era of Disney animation (or, funnily enough, from 7 years ago), then they probably have a live-action redo in the works. Just a shame that, like a child copying his friend’s homework, they’re never as good as the original thing. In fairness, the critical reception of these films does vary from ‘decent enough’ to ‘I will burn Disneyland to the ground’ bad. These movies make an ungodly amount of cash for the mickey mouse media monopoly. So, whether us critics like it or not, the box office does not lie.
That said, nor do critics, and I speak truthfully: this movie sucks.
(I would usually continue with a plot summary, but who hasn’t seen The Little Mermaid? Me, actually, up until a few days ago. Before you prepare your pitchforks, keep in mind that I did quite enjoy it! Past my time as an adult, sure, but still engineered with enough song, creativity, and spirit to keep it afloat.)
It’s a credit to the filmmakers at hand here that there is some sense of trying to add a bit more depth to certain elements of the original. In this one, there is a scene where Ariel (Halle Bailey) explores the communities in her now human home, rather than staying tied at the hip with only Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) in his castle. That’s just about where the compliments stop for me, because the heart of this film is fundamentally broken.
They’ve managed to turn a succinct, cute fairy-tale into an over two-hour boring slog of ugly underwater visuals and achingly bad scenes of annoying CGI animals nattering at each other. Like The Lion King, there’s a distinctly erroneous understanding of one of the reasons why people love these iconic animal characters. Making them all look like soulless, photorealistic incantations of themselves is a straight-up nightmare. None more so than Flounder (voiced by Jacob Tremblay), who now looks like he’s constantly giving off a thousand-yard stare of a war-stricken soldier. Sapping the magic is a facet of these remakes, and in that sense, The Little Mermaid does its job to a tee.
There’s a handful of new songs here that are punctuated by just how uninspiring they are, and that’s the perfect word to describe this entire ordeal – uninspiring. In one instance, Scuttle (voiced by Awkwafina) wakes Ariel up to tell her that a wedding is being prepared. Just like the original, except in this one she delivers an ear-melting, horrendous rap to bring the news. AKA: Hamilton, and its consequences.
What more needs to be said? You have the better, vibrant, less tedious version of this film sitting on your DVD shelf or waiting for you to stream on your preferred platform. I would stick with it, don’t wring your pockets dry over this underwater dud.
